Rejected

I set off that morning with a grin on my face that would knock any cat right out of his tree
I walked, skipped, floated over the pebbly mess of a path that would lead me to my destiny
The sleepy sun was still attempting to rise
the chill of the night not quite passed, nipping at my fragile skin
I remember spotting the station ahead of me
Dusty lamplight, illuminating the ghost of a building
its rickety roof and tired benches exhausted
from the comings and goings of so many expectant visitors
As if the hopes and dreams of every soul passing through
stole a little energy from the weary wooden ticket stand
the crumbling concrete platform

By the time the tardy sun sat like a juicy orange in the morning sky
I was waiting on my chosen pew, my bulging suitcases resting beside me
groaning like fat old men, who not for the first time had over-indulged at dinner
I waited, the butterflies in my stomach impatient to escape
If I opened my lips, I was sure they would fly out in a flurry of colour
I waited, for the moment when I would spy his familiar shape
pacing towards me along the ancient platform
As my eyes searched the station, my mind carried me away
I pictured us both, stepping off the train in a new and wonderful place
maybe we would stay for a while in some cosy village guesthouse or maybe
we would travel further still, by plane or ship to some mysterious destination

A whistle. The deafening thunder of a monstrous machine
The train. Could it be here already? But he hadn't arrived yet
Confusion, fear, what if he didn't make it? where could he be?
The early train, that's what he'd said, we'll take the early train
What terrible fate had become him to make him break his promise?
The conductor tried to take my luggage, I wouldn't let him
I couldn't board the train without him
What if it were to carry me away, away from the station, away from him
I willed him to appear beside me, flushed and breathless from running
The conductor eyed me curiously, impatient to resume his journey
There were no other passengers to seat, not at this early hour
I waited and waited, but the train would not
As it left the platform, left me alone, a tear left my eye, then another

I don't remember how long I sobbed or how many trains halted, waited, left
I could not move from my lonely seat. Shocked, bewildered, afraid, where would I go?
How could I return to my empty house? I should be with him
As the sumptuous sun finally sank, my heart sank with it
The reality of rejection awakened me
I rose, took my life and my luggage in my hands and walked slowly, nervously back
back into the darkness I walked
The bitter black sky wrapped itself around me
That was the darkest night of my life