tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33282234.post8449409746125156609..comments2022-09-26T08:37:45.849+01:00Comments on be the serpent: Runawaysbe the serpenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00741238317853342892noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33282234.post-72509905686065023802010-02-22T17:44:58.672+00:002010-02-22T17:44:58.672+00:00Beautiful poem. Very sweet but you manage to avoi...Beautiful poem. Very sweet but you manage to avoid the slope into slushy.<br /><br />The freedom of the form mirrors the whole idea of freedom which weaves through the piece. You show your skill and experience by moving the perspective from the somewhat distant and abstract roads and waterfalls into the specific activity of skimming stones.<br /><br />The internal rhyme is great in this one, and the repetitive sounds make the poem so musical without ever sounding forced. It's got a real pulse to it.<br /><br />There's pleasure and humour in the poem's tone although it maintains a kind of quiet, otherwordly tranquility. There is more stillness than action, as if describing a dream landscape rather than a human event. The emotions are contained within images themselves and there is a sense that there is something of the dissociative feeling of dreams - as though the emotions seething below the surface were cloaked in a blanket of drugged calm.<br /><br />It all just feels right.<br /><br />xsteven.nash82https://www.blogger.com/profile/12170451589468557651noreply@blogger.com